selfish
i didn't know what to say. the thought of you there was hard enough, but the reality of it all was unbearbale. so i wrapped myself into work and made myself believe that you were still here.i didn't want you to know that i was lying to myself. that i was still going on with my life like nothing was wrong. i thought it would be easier this way and it was easier for me. i was only thinking about myself. i didn't want to deal.
i'm sorry for being an asshole. i'm sorry for showing you that i didn't care. i'm sorry i wasn't there for you when you really needed me. i'm sooo sorry.
and i'm so lucky that you aren't mad at me because i would be so mad at you.
...i counted sixteen, now seventeen.
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