just being me

can't find the words to say

I know I am not perfect, I am far from perfection, but at least I know it. There are people who look in the mirrors and don't see any of their flaws. It saddens because they are so quick to judge and criticize others of their imperfections- they never really get to know people. They would rather base their opinions on one flawed event than to see the goodness a person has. It hurts me to know that my mistakes might be weighed higher than my good traits. I just hope people can see that if you always judge you build up a lot of hate and anger inside and not only is that unhealthy but it also leaves you alone.

It's officially finals week. My finals start Tuesday end Wednesday. I'm not too stressed. Come to think of it, I haven't ever really been that stressed over finals. I know I should, but I think if I stress myself out that I will do worse. I'm not the type of person to lock themselves in a room and study for hours, or an hour for that matter. It's too overwhelming. The final I'm worried most about is my Italian Final, just because there is so much to remember especially with all the irregular verbs and shiz. My dance final is take home, which I will start working on sometime soon. I've always been good in math, and right now were going back to algebra in Finite math, like matrices and substitution and crap, so I just need to refresh on three of the sections and I'll be doing good. Comic spirit is really easy to grasp if you have an open mind. I am closed minded at times, but I feel that I am more open than anything. Since I have managed to ace everything in that class I'm not too worried. Just going to review the concepts of arduous lovers, and some of the movies we watched. Finals are chill.

Ha finals are so chill, that Iris and I managed to have one last road trip to San Diego last night. It's going to be the last one together. :( It's sucks. But last night was fun. We went to nelson's to celebrate his 21st. It's nice getting to see all those people again, most I haven't seen since backyard boogie. Nelson got me a few drinks, I got buzzed, nothing too bad. He actually pulled me aside to ask me a few questions about that night in December. That's cool tho, I'd rather he ask than hearing whatever rumors that may have been spread. Overall it was a pretty nice night. I was in the mood to dance, but no one was really dancing except for the really drunk hoochie mamas, who were very annoying. Apparently they have never been under the influence of alcohol and needed to express to everyone "how drunk they were!" in very loud voices. There was something missing... I just can't put my finger on it.

Things are still up in the air about something and I do need a change, but I don't know if it will happen. I really want to do it, very badly and I would love to do it. Love is just the tip of the iceberg, but there are things that must be taken care of before i make any change. At last I know there are options for me. I'm tired of feeling confined to one way of life. I'm young and I'm ready to experience everything and anything wherever the road takes me.

Met genuinely nice people today. I've never met people who are giving without question. Who open their house, share their food, and don't care if you know them or not. It was a nice way to end the week and to start finals week.

All you fools who have finals good luck, all of you schmucks who are still in school, sucks to be you, and the rest of you who aren't dealing with school shit, I envy you and love you.

posted by miss. me @ 4:53 PM