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Sometimes I get caught up in conversations about relationships. Truth is I have a biased opinion. I have never been in a long term relationship-sad and pathetic I know. Three months is nothing. I don't think I should count it anymore b/c it was after high school. Anyways, like I was saying, I get asked about hypothetical questions dealing with relationships that usually start like, "Say you've been in a relationship for 6 months and your boyfriend wants to go to a strip club, would you let him?" I don't know how to answer that because I am naive on the relationship thing. So, I say, "Well I don't know, I'd like to think that I'd be fine with it, just as long as he doesn't come home thinking he was going to cop a feel. I would think if I were in a relationship he'd have to trust me therefore he'd also want to tell me all that went down at the strip club. And since I trust him I'd just laugh about it with him." But I am ignorant and oblivious to what it is really like. It's different when you're actually in that long term relationship... I know people who say, "I wouldn't let my man go because it feels like I'm not enough. It sucks to know that he has to go somewhere else to get the captain happy." I can understand that, it makes complete sense. Than again, I'm a relationship virgin. Dang, how sad is that? I'm gonna die alone hahaha.Relationships are scary. Being in a long term relationship gives a person the opportunity to know all the little things about you, like your favorite cereal or your favorite food. It's nice to know that someone actually cares enough to know those small quarks and idiosyncrasies about you, but that means you know those things about them too. And when things come to an end, like they always do in my case, you know those things about them and it makes it harder to forget. That's what I hate. When things end I'm left knowing all those tidbits about that person and it just makes the time harder to pass by. It doesn't even have to be tidbits it could be knowing other shit too. For instance, I'll be completely oblivious when I'm driving and that's when I see it. I see a car exactly like his driving next to me on the freeway, road, or street. Or I'll be anywhere and out of nowhere I'll hear his very uncommon name said every where I go. I'm like okay!! When did the name Garfield get so popular? Or when did everyone start driving a pinto? (I've never dated someone who drives a pinto or has the name Garfield, but I'm just using as an example). It's not that I want to completely forget these guys, but it would make life easier if I didn't have so many reminders and my feelings could vanish a lot faster. I don't know how guys do it. It's like oh yah i had feelings for her, but that was sooo yesterday. They can literally in a heartbeat just forget any feelings they had for a person and move on. It's like the male superpower.
If only I could have a relationship that didn't require words. That way I wouldn't know when their birthday was or their last name. So I would never know about that time he was a kid, or what his favorite color is, or about that time at band camp. But than I'm stuck with the other memories of him..Thehe way he looks in the morning, the way he walks, his smile, the way his hand fits perfectly into mine, and the way his nose flares when he laughs. Ha why can't I just find THE ONE already and not worry about this stupid shit? Hahaha.
Okay not "the one" but at least a person I can just chill with and be with for more than 3 months? Who makes me nervous when I see him? Who smiles every time he sees me? Who can open up a new world to me? And most importantly who isn't afraid of taking a risk with me? It's too much to ask for. Nevermind, I take it back.
By the way, this is just my stupid thoughts rambling from all of my experiences, no one in particular.
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