crossing over to adulthood
When did my life become so complicated? My childhood was so much more simple. Wake up, go to school, come home, watch TV, and do whatever. Driving seemed years away, living on my own wasn't even an issue, and college... Well, I honestly didn't think I'd get this far. Now here I am 20 years old, attending CSULB, driving, and living on my own. With that comes bills, comes working, and loneliness. Yay for adulthood... :( I just thought by now I'd have a little bit more accomplished than what I have accomplished, which is slim to nothing. I wish I was a kid again. To play on the swings, flip on the bars, and live without a worry in the world. I don't think that's even remotely possible now at least not in my life- to not have a worry in the world. It's like asking for a miracle."why doesn't my heart do what my brain tells it to do?" I really do wish it was that simple. At least than I could focus and move on already. I guess it's true what they say about girls, and lucky me I am a female. I guess I got caught up into a dream or fantasy that wasn't there in the first place. Where words weren't just words, and everything else was sugar coated. When I finally hit back to reality I saw that nothing was really there in the first place. Yeah it sucks b/c I got caught into the net and was dragged along for quite awhile. I understood, I honestly did, but it would be nice if I was understood or perhaps asked where I fit into the picture-sometimes that's asking for too much. If it was as meaningful as it was supposed to be there needs to be complete understanding, even when it's hard. I wont lie that it hurts because it does... It just shows me that I give more than I take. That's life... I just really need to start making smarter decisions. My carelessness has got me into enough trouble.
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